1. What's the real reason a brunette keeps her figure? No one else wants it. 2. What's a brunette's mating call? "Has the blonde left yet?" 3. What do you call a brunette who dies her hair blonde? Artifical Stupidity 4. What kind of costumes do brunette girls wear on Halloween? They just stand on their heads and go as dirty mops. 5. Why don't brunettes get breast implants? They've already spent their money on thigh and butt implants.

1) Did you hear about the blond skydiver? She Missed! 2) What do you call a blonde holding a balloon? Twins! 3) Why doesn't a blonde drive a BMW? Because she can't spell it! 4) How is a blonde the same as a bottle? Thier both empty from the neck up! 5) Did you hear about the blonde that shot an arrow into the air? She missed!

1 Why don't blondes eat bananas? They can't find the zipper. 2 Why don't blondes use vibrators? They chip their teeth. 3 Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts? Cause their balls show. 4 Why don't a blondes eyes fall out of her when she stands? The vacuum in her head keeps them in place. 5 What does a blonde answer to the question "Are you sexually active?" "No, I just lie there."

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant! Why did the blonde die in the helecopter crash? She got cold so she turned off the fan! How did the blonde die ice fishing? She got ran over by the zamboni machine! ( Zambonis make the ice on skating rinks) How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves? She fell out of the tree! A blonde was taking a walk outside when a bird flew over her in the sky. When it suddenly dropped a load on her. What did she say? Good thing my mouth was open or it would've hit me in the face!

1 Why cant blondes make ice cubes? Because they dont have the recipe! 2 Two Blondes were in a car and came to a fork in a road, and the sign said Disneyland left. So they turned around and went home. 3 How do you know when a blonde's been sending e-mail? Envelopes in the disk drive. 4 How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her a blonde joke. 5 Why don't Blondes make good cattle ranchers? They can't keep their calves together.

1 Why did the blonde cross the road? She was tied to the baby that was stapled to the chicken. 2 Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch? Her blinker was on 3 What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear ? Data transfer. 4 What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

1 What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS? A know-it-all bitch. 2 I told my blonde girlfriend that I was going skeet shooting. She told me she didn't know how to cook them. 3 Did you hear about the blonde who was M.D. (mentallY deficient) 4 Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold? They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out. 5 What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty? A blonde parade.

Why can't you trust a blonde to call for an ambulance? She can't find the 11 to call 911.

There are 99 Blonds on a plane and 1 Brunette. The captain radios in that they are going down, So they drop all the luggage. They were still going down so they drop out all the chairs. They were still going down so they dropped the floor. So they are hanging by their hands from the top on the plane with no floor. So the captain say's "1 person jump out" the Brunette say's "I'll sacrifice my life", and all the Blonds start clapping.

1 How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednesday. 2 What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? Trying to hold on to a thought. 3 Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? They don't know the route. 4 Have you heard what my blond neighbor wrote on the bottom of her swimming pool? No smoking. 5 How do you drive a blonde crazy? Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetize them. 6 Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? For throwing out the W's. 7 How did the blonde die drinking milk? The cow fell on her. 8 Why do blondes like lightning? They think someone is taking their picture. 9 Why don't blondes make good pharmacists? They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.