1 A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "Go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them." A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'." 2 A blonde was telling her priest a Polack joke, when halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?" "Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "do you want me to start over and talk slower?" 3 A dumb blonde was standing in front of a soda machine outside of a local store. After putting in sixty cents, a root beer popped out of the machine. She set it on the ground, put sixty more cents into the machine, and pushes another button; suddenly, a coke comes out the machine! She continued to do this until a man waiting to use the machine became impatient. "Excuse me, can I get my soda and then you can go back to whatever stupid thing you are doing?" The blonde turns around and says, "Yeah right! I'm not giving up this machine while I'm still winning!" 4 A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true or false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall and stares at the question paper for five minutes. Then, in a fit of inspiration, takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously. During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening. "I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers." 5 A blonde decides to try to learn horse back riding unassisted without prior experience or lessons. She mounts the horse with great effort, and the tall, shiny horse springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle. Out of sheer terror, she grabs for the horse's mane but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety. Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup. She is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. She is mere moments away from unconsciousness or even death when Frank, the Wal-Mart manager runs out to shut the horse off.

1) How does a blonde kill a fish? She drowns it! 2) How does a blonde kill a bird? She throws it off a cliff! 3) How does a blonde lose 5 pounds? She takes off her make up! 4) Why does a blonde wash her hair in the sink? Because thats where you wash vegetables! 5) What did the blonde think of her new computer? She couldn't get channel 9!

1 What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool? Air bubbles! 2 What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground? An air mattress. 3 What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? She moved. 4 What are the worst six years in a blonde's life? Third Grade. 5 Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian? Because she loved children.

1 Why did God create brunettes? So ugly men wouldn't feel left out 2 Why do brunettes like their dark hair color? It doesn't show the dirt 3 Why are brunettes so proud of their hair? It matches their mustache. 4 What do brunettes miss most about a great party? The invitation. 5 What do you call a good-looking man with a brunette? Gay, married, or a hostage.

1 What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? Bigfoot has been spotted. 2 How do you drown a blonde? Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. 3 What's the blonde's cheer? "I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well... 4 What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? Change. 5 How does a blonde moonwalk? She pulls down her panties and slides her butt along the floor!

1 What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla? Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do. 2 Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? Because it says on it "good for up to 20 pounds." 3 Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? Because on the box it said From 2-4 years. 4 What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? "Nice boobs!" 5 How does a blonde high-5? She smacks herself in the forehead.

1 What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A Space Invader. 2 What's a blondes' favorite rock group? Air Supply. 3 What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes? The back of her head. 4 Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids? So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home. 5 What do you call a smart blonde? A golden retriever.

1 Why are blondes hurt by people's words? Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. 2 What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own. 3 What do you call a blonde behind a steering wheel? An air bag. 4 Did you hear about the blonde coyote? Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. 5 Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? Because she got an F in sex.

1 What do blondes and cow pies have in common? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up. 2 What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine? She peed on her corn flakes. 3 What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency? She turned it over and used the other side. 4 Did you hear about the stupid blonde? She got hit by a parked car. 5 Why can't the blonde add 10 and 7 on a calculator? Because she can't find the 10

1) What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in? "Have another beer." 2) What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? The blonde works in the dark! 3) How do you keep a blonde busy for hours? Scroll down... Scroll up... 4) So a blonde is walking down the street and she stops to ask a man the time, he says "O, it's uhh...4:45." The blonde responds, "Man, I've been asking that question all day and I get a different answer every time! 5) Superman, Batman, and a smart blonde all died on the same day.Which one got to Heaven first? None of them.They are all make-believe.