An Irishman was walking home when he saw a sign offering employment, he quickly ran home to tell his two brothers, as they were all looking for jobs. 'Quick lads, I've found a place that'll take us all on' he told them. They made their way back to the place where he'd seen the sign and walked in to the reception. The receptionist called the manager and he took them out back. On giving then each a chainsaw, he said 'Now I can only take two of ya, so the two quickest to trim those branches over there get the job' The brothers looked at each other bemused, eventually the eldest speaks and says 'But your sign out front says you want tree fellers'

Yo Momma is so stupid, she has a peep hole in the glass door!

One professor says your IQ measures how much you know. A scientist says your IQ measures how much information you are capable of learning. All I want to know is how long it will take me to get with your sister. I mean DAMN!

If however you do need to take Viagra, remember to swallow them quickly otherwise you'll get a stiff neck. A shipment of Viagra was highjacked today. Police have put out an All-Points bulletin: Be on the lookout for two hardened criminals! They will face a stiff sentence when convicted and they'll surely be sent to a Penal Institution.

______________________ I'm drawing a blank here.

________________________ With all the bad puns going around, I had to draw the line somewhere.

Yo momma is so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Did you hear about the new Polish million dollar lotery? You get a dollar a year for a million years!!!

$1,000 worth of products were stolen from a Games Workshop today Police are looking for a book and three pots of paint.

A guy asks for a tattoo of a $100 bill on his penis. Curious, the tattoo artist asks him why he would possibly want that. He replies, "Three reasons: I like to play with my money, I like to watch my money grow, and $100 seems to be the only thing my wife will blow these days."