All things are possible - except skiing through a revolving door.

Always be smarter than the inanimate object that you're working with.

Always go to other peoples funerals, or they wont come to yours.

Remember, no-one is listening until you fart.

Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else!

Only in America can a poor black boy turn into a rich white woman... (Michael Jackson)

You never know someone until you walk a mile in their shoes. But if you walked a mile in their shoes wouldn't their feet get cold?

I invented a cure for amnesia - but I've forgotten what it is!

What's bigotry? What you find in an Italian forest!

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor. Without geometry, life is pointless. When you dream in color, it's a pigment of your imagination. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion. Reading whilst sunbathing makes you well-red. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I. Alarms: What an octopus is.