How many rich people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They hire people to do it for them.

How many Russian leaders does it take to change a lightbulb? We don't know. Russian leaders don't last as long as lightbulbs.

How many scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. With all the technology that they have, its a wonder that they still use lightbulbs.

1. How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. 2. How many Candains does it take to change a lightbulb? One to whack it out with his hockey stick, and one to screw in the new one. 3. How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? One to screw it in, 2 to support him, and 1 to disagree with his lightbulb approach. 4. How many terrorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 to crash a plane into the lightbulb, and 1 to put in the new lightbulb. 5. How many soccer players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to take out the old one, one to attempt to kick it in to the socket, and one to buy new bulbs after the kicking attemts fail.

Q: How many shipping department personnel does it take to change a light bulb? A: We can change the bulb in seven to ten working days, but if you call before 2 p.m. and pay an extra $15, we can get it changed overnight.

Why did the 12 watt lightbulb drop out of school? It wasn't very bright.

Q: How many roadies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 2. One to try to hammer it in with a microphone, and another to find a cable to plug that microphone in. Q: How many union members does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: If we do screw in that light bulb, it'll be a 4 hour minimum on the payroll. Q: How many sound techs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. That's the light guy's job. Q: How many lighting techs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: IT'S A LAMP!

Q: How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They merely change the standard to darkness and upgrade the customers.

What did the baby lightbulb say to his mother? I wuv you watts and watts!

After receiving, for what must be the hundredth time, the canonical light bulb joke list, I came up with this: Q: How many senior Presidential Aides does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They're supposed to keep the President in the dark. A' : One: to award a billion dollar sole-source contract with Halliburton to replace it. A'': thirty-eight: One to say that no one could have foreseen the bulb's burning out, one to spin stories for newspapers that the President's bulb-changing program is working well, and thirty-five to go out on talk shows to accuse the Democrats of being weak on light, and one to deny rumors that it's still dark in there. A''': sixty: thirty to bribe staffers to write letters telling everyone how wonderful it is to sit in the dark, and thirty more to bribe newspaper editors to publish those letters. A'''': The Administration will defend its policy of warrant-less surveillance of all Americans suspected of supporting foreign terrorist bulbs entering this country.