1. How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. 2. How many Candains does it take to change a lightbulb? One to whack it out with his hockey stick, and one to screw in the new one. 3. How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? One to screw it in, 2 to support him, and 1 to disagree with his lightbulb approach. 4. How many terrorists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1 to crash a plane into the lightbulb, and 1 to put in the new lightbulb. 5. How many soccer players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One to take out the old one, one to attempt to kick it in to the socket, and one to buy new bulbs after the kicking attemts fail.