President Musharraf went to the US & had a meeting with President Bush. Bush said, "I want to show you the advancement in technology in USA. Come with me." Bush takes him in a deep forest and says, "Dig the ground." Musharraf digs. Bush says, "More, more, more..." Musharraf has now reached 100 feet. Bush says, "So now, did you find anything?" Musharraf, "I got a wire!" Bush says, "You see, it shows that even 200 years ago we used to have telephones!" Musharraf was very frustrated and he invited Bush to Pakistan. In Pakistan Musharraf says, "Now I want to show you the advancement in Pakistan!" He takes Bush to a forest and asks him to dig. After some time Musharraf says, "More. ... More... more!" Bush has now reached almost 400 feet. Musharraf says, "Find anything?" Bush tries but finds nothing, "Nothing here!" Musharraf says, "You see! 400 years ago we had WIRELESS telephones!"

2 = special administrative regions in China. (Hong Kong and Macau)

2 old ladies are at the bus stop waiting for a bus when it starts to rain. Not wanting to lose her cigarette, one of the old ladies took a condom and a pair of scissors out of her purse, snipped off the end of the condom and slid it over her cigarette. The 2nd lady noticed this and thought it was a brilliant idea, so the next day she goes to the pharmacy and asks for a pack of condoms. The man says, "Sure, what size would you like?" The woman, thinking about her cigarettes, says, "One that will fit a Camel."

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. Say "Wouldn't you like to know?" every time someone asks you a question. 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces tightly together. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions to "keep them tuned up." 16. Reply to everything someone says with, "that's what YOU think." 17. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your air space." 19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol. 21. Practice making fax and modem noises. 22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and copy them to your boss. 23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person." 26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophecy." 27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. 28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

365.25 days on a low-calorie diet - 1 lite year

3.6 = coulombs in a milliampere-hour.

Once upon a time 5 Indians captured 3 Americans and they said to go get fruit or they'll beat them up. The 1st guy comes back with apples and the Indians tell him to shove 10 apples up his butt. He says "Ok - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5..." then he dies and goes to Heaven. The 2nd guy comes back with oranges and he was told the same. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9..." then he bursts out laughing and laughs himself to death and he goes to Heaven. The 2 guys meet in Heaven and the 1st one says "why did you stop? you were so close!" "Because I saw the 3rd guy, he had pineapples!!!"

Once, there was 3 Chinese people who wanted to go to America. Their names were Bu, Chu, and Fu. Since these names would sound awfully weird, Bu said, "I'll change my name to Buck, adding 'ck' to the end." Chu said, "Then I'll become Chuck." After a long pause, Fu said, "I guess I'll go back to China."

Three couples went to a resturant. The women wanted to compliment the men with something that was on the table. "Could you pass me the sugar, sugar?" said the first gal. "Could you pass me the honey, honey?" said the second. "Could you pass me the bacon, pig?" said the third.

Three men were trekking through the desert and came across a magician. The magician was standing at the top of a slide. The magician said, ''You may each go down the slide, asking for a drink. When you reach the bottom of the slide you shall land in a huge glass of that drink." The first man went down yelling, ''Beeeerrr!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of beer. The second guy went down the slide yelling,''lemonadeee!!!'' Plop! He landed in a glass of lemonade. The third guy went down the slide yelling ''wheeeeeeeee!!!'''