The Russian wrestling team and American wrestling team are having a 5-on-5 exhibition match. Both teams are down to their final wrestlers, tied at two wins apiece. The remaining American wrestler is 5'10", 175lbs., and his Russian counterpart is 6'7", 300lbs and all muscle. The American coach sends his wrestler into the match with little hope of winning. As expected, the Russian has with way with the American. Suddenly, the American explosively turns the match around, pins the Russian, and gains the victory for the American team. The American wrestler returns to the sidelines where the coach asks him, "Son, how were you able to defeat that big Russian? Honestly, I didn't give you much of a chance." The wrestler says, "Well, coach, when he had me down on the ground all rolled up, I saw a pair of nuts dangling in front of my face, and I just bit them as hard as I could." The coach is shocked. "That's how you beat him?!" "Hell yeah!" the wrestler says. "You'd be surprised what you can do when you bite your own nuts!"

WARNING: Racial insult to a black person. Why could a black person never get oral sex? Because the black person would taste like horribly burned food.

What's a Black Priest called? Holy Shit!

How long does a black woman take to do a shit? 9 months

Prostitute shouting accross the street - "Hey, black boy! You want a blow job?" He shouts back "Fuck off! I don't want ANY job!"

Bob was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor. He was late getting home and was speeding. Wouldn't you know it, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned him to the side of the bridge. Bob pulled over like a good citizen. The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were going, BOY?" Bob thought for a second and said, "Uhh, 35?" "SIXTY-SEVEN mph, son! 67 mph in a 55 zone!" said the cop. "But if you already knew, officer," replied Bob, "Why did you ask me?" Fuming over Bob's answer, the officer growled, in his normal sarcastic fashion, "That's speeding, and you're getting a ticket and a fine!" The cop took a good close look at Bob, in his stained fishing attire and said, "You don't even look like you have a job! Why, I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!" Bob answered, "I've got a job! I have a good, well-paying job!" The cop leaned in the window, smelling Bob's fish catch, said, "What kind of a job would a bum like you have?" "I'm a rectum stretcher!" replied Bob. "What you say, BOY?" asked the patrolman. "I'm a rectum stretcher!" The cop, scratching his head, asked, "What does a rectum stretcher do?" Bob explained, "People call me up and say they need to be stretched, so I go over to their house. I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more and then one whole hand, then two. Then I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until it's a full six feet across." The cop, absorbed with these bizarre images in his mind, asked, "What the heck do you do with a six foot @$$hole?" Bob answered, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at the end of a bridge!"

Your mama is so fat, a giant mistook her for a bowling ball!

You know what your problem is? Your brain is too tense... too tense the size of everybody else's.

If your brain was dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your hat off!

The closest you've ever come to a brainstorm is a light drizzle!