Why do they call it PMS? Because the name "MAD COW DISEASE" was taken.

Why do they call them "apartments" when they're so close together?

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Why was Moses wandering through the desert for 40 years?Because men refuse to ask for directions!

Wife: When we were younger you used to nibble on my ear. (The husband starts leaving the room. )Wife: Where are you going?Husband: To get my teeth!"

Woodworm strolls into a pub and asks "Is the bar tender here"?

Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.

Would a fly that loses its wings be called a walk?

Years ago, CBS had a popular little series called Gilligan's Island. There is, however, a dark secret about this "comedy" you may never have realized. The island is a direct representation of HELL. Nobody on the island wants to be there, yet none are able to leave. Each one of the characters represents one of the 7 deadly sins: