Boy: Will you marry me? Girl: Are you kidding? You're a geek while I need a man with a big bank account and a nice house! Boy: I have 1000 GBs in the cloud. Girl: Come on, that won't even buy us a cabin in Texas! Boy: You don't know sh*t, my EC2 account can buy a farm in New York if you wish!

Are the Wocka ads annoying you? This is an updated version to tell you how to block them. It might take too long for you to reach the 5000 point milestone and therefore automatically get rid of the ads. If they do annoy you, here's a way to remove them: 1. Open "my computer", locate the windows directory (for example, C:\windows). 2. Enter its subdirectory system32\drivers\etc (the full path might be something like C:\windows\system32\drivers\etc). You can find a file named "host". 3. Use the "notepad" (which is being used to open .txt files) to open this file, and add these lines: 127.0.0.1 pagead2.googlesyndication.com 127.0.0.1 media.fastclick.net 127.0.0.1 www.burstnet.com 4. Save it, and shut down all your existing IE windows. 5. Open your IE again, and enter Wocka. You won't see the annoying ads anymore (although the google search will be still there.) 6. If you still have any questions, please send me a private message. 7. Enjoy it!

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons." - Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949. "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers." - Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943 "I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is a fad that won't last out the year." - The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall, 1957 "But what ... is it good for?" - Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968, commenting on the microchip. "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home." - Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977 "So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing, even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So then we went to Hewlett Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't need you. You haven't got through college yet.'" - Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get Atari and HP interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal computer.

Believe it or not, Windows95 is not a virus, as many (millions) have claimed. You want proof? Look no further! What's the difference between Windows95 and a virus? Quality Replicates Quickly Virus: Yes Windows95: Yes Uses up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so Virus: Yes Windows95: Yes Occasional hard disk destruction Virus: Yes Windows95: Yes Usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems Virus: Yes Windows95:Yes Will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow and the user will buy new hardware Virus:Yes Windows95:Yes Occasional meltdown of vital components Virus:Yes Windows95:Yes Until now it seems Windows is a virus, but there are several fundamental differences. Viruses: 1.are well supported by their authors 2.are running on most systems 3.have fast, compact and efficient source code 4.become more sophisticated as they mature

The best way to accelerate Windows is through one.

For those with jobs that require sitting at a computer all day who don't want to spend the money for those fancy exercise machines, here is a little secret for building arm and shoulder muscles. Three days a week is best. Begin by standing (in your cubicle works well) with a five pound potato sack in each hand. Extend your arms straight out to your sides and hold them there as long as you can. After a few weeks, move up to ten pound potato sacks and then fifty pound potato sacks, and finally get to where you can lift a one hundred pound potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. Next, start putting a few potatoes in the sacks.

Teacher: Johnny, where is your homework? Johnny: Its on Facebook. I've uploaded a copy and tagged you. Please login and verify it later.

Tech Support: "All right. Now click 'OK'." Customer: "Click 'OK'?" Tech Support: "Yes, click 'OK'." Customer: "Click 'OK'?" Tech Support: "That's right. Click 'OK'." Customer: "So I click 'OK', right?" Tech Support: "Right. Click 'OK'." Pause. Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'." Tech Support: "YOU CLICKED 'CANCEL'???" Customer: "That's what I was supposed to do, right?" Tech Support: "No, you were supposed to click 'OK'." Customer: "I thought you said to click 'Cancel'." Tech Support: "NO. I said to click 'OK'." Customer: "Oh." Tech Support: "Now we have to start over." Customer: "Why?" Tech Support: "Because you clicked 'Cancel'." Customer: "Wasn't I supposed to click 'Cancel'?" Tech Support: "No. Forget that. Let's start from the top." Customer: "Ok." I spent the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady's unique computer. Tech Support: "All right. Now, are you ready to click 'OK'?" Customer: "Yes." Tech Support: "Great. Now click 'OK'." Pause. Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'." And people wonder why my mouse pad has a target on it labeled "BANG HEAD HERE."

Perhaps the Most Truthful: on Microsoft marketing: "There won't be anything we won't say to people to try and convince them that our way is the way to go." Not on his mind while developing Win9X..circa 1981... "640K ought to be enough for anybody." On the solid code base of Win9X... thanks WPW! "If you can't make it good, at least make it look good." from "OS/2 Programmer's Guide" (forward by Bill Gates): "I believe OS/2 is destined to be the most important operating system, and possibly program, of all time. As the successor to DOS, which has over 10,000,000 systems in use, it creates incredible opportunities for everyone involved with PCs." Bill Gates, Free Market and the LA Times Thanks GC! "There are people who don't like capitalism, and people who don't like PCs. But there's no-one who likes the PC who doesn't like Microsoft" From the back of an old Digitalk Smalltalk/V PM manual, 1990: "This is the right way to develop applications for OS/2 PM. OS/2 PM is a tremendously rich environment, which makes it inherently complex. Smalltalk/V PM removes that complexity and lets you concentrate on writing great programs. Smalltalk/V PM is the kind of tool that will make OS/2 the successor to MS/DOS". from "OS/2 Notebook", Microsoft Press, (c) 1990 - an excerpt from an interview with Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino, p. 614: Developer: Does the announcement [of the OS/2 joint development agreement between IBM and Microsoft] mean that Microsoft is curtailing any plans for future development of Windows? Gates: Microsoft has not changed any of its plans for Windows. It is obvious that we will not include things like threads and preemptive multitasking in Windows. By the time we added that, you would have OS/2. There's a reason they threw it away... from "Programmers at Work" by Microsoft Press, interview with Bill (found on comp.os.os2.advocacy), Interviewer: Is studying computer science the best way to prepare to be a programmer? Gates: No, the best way to prepare is to write programs, and to study great programs that other people have written. In my case, I went to the garbage cans at the Computer Science Center and I fished out listings of their operating system. Only the finest Microsoft marketing! (submitted by BarryB): "If you don't know what you need Windows NT for, you don't need it." On the Box of Windows 2.11 for 286 (submitted by GLDM) "New interface closely resembles Presentation Manager, preparing you for the wonders of OS/2!" On code stability, from Focus Magazine (submitted by Benedikt Heinen Microsoft programs are generally bug-free. If you visit the Microsoft hotline, you'll literally have to wait weeks if not months until someone calls in with a bug in one of our programs. 99.99% of calls turn out to be user mistakes. [...] I know not a single less irrelevant reason for an update than bugfixes. The reasons for updates are to present more new features. Unconfirmed quotes: Microsoft's GUI innovations... 1983 (thanks E.R.) "Imagine the disincentive to software development if after months of work another company could come along and copy your work and market it under its own name...without legal restraints to such copying, companies like Apple could not afford to advance the state of the art." Even more 1984 predictions (thanks Scott Renyen) "The next generation of interesting software will be made on a Macintosh, not an IBM PC."

Why did the computer get sick? He left his windows open