Q: How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg. A: Five: One to hold the bulb, and four to guzzle beer until the room spins. A: None. Frat boys screw in puddles of vomit.

Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two. One to screw it in and the other to say ''Fabulous.''

Q: How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

Q: How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but it sure takes a sh*tload of light bulbs!

Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

Q: How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. That's a software problem. A: None. They just have marketing portray the dead bulb as a feature.

Q: How many Harvard grads does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one. He grabs the bulb and waits for the world to revolve around him.

Q: How many [IBM] Technical Writers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only, ''This page intentionally left blank,'' and 20% of the definitions are of the form ''A

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. (''That's all right...I'll just sit here in the dark...'')

Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.