The Wacky Warning Label Contest, now in its 11th year, is conducted by Novi-based Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch as part of an effort to show the effects of lawsuits on warning labels. Kevin Soave of Farmington Hills, a Detroit suburb, won the $500 grand prize for submitting the winning label. The $250 second place was given to Carrianne, Jacob and Robby Turin of Greensburg, Pa., for a label they found on an iron-on T-shirt transfer that warns: "Do not iron while wearing shirt." Richard Goodnow of Lancaster, Mass., earned the $100 third-place prize for a label on a baby stroller featuring a small storage pouch that warns: "Do not put child in bag." Contest organizer Bob Dorigo Jones says the silly labels reflect how broken America's civil justice system is. "Predatory lawyers know they can file ridiculous lawsuits against innocent product makers and blackmail them into a cash settlement - even in cases in which a user has ignored common sense," Dorigo Jones said. Those who oppose the contest say that while some warning labels may seem silly, even dumb warnings can do good. They have a warning of their own: Don't be so quick to laugh at labels that help save lives. Honorable mention went to Cyndi LaMonde of Traverse City for a label on a letter opener that says: "Caution: Safety goggles recommended."

How do you tell when a lawyer is well-hung? When you can't fit your fingers between the rope and his throat.

The judge read the charges, then asked: "Are you the defendant in this case?" "No, your honor," replied Tommy. "I've got a lawyer to do the defending. I'm the person who did it."

A defendant was asked if he wanted a bench trial or a jury trial. "Jury trial," the defendant replied. "Do you understand the difference?" asked the judge. "Sure," replied the defendant, "That's where twelve ignorant people decide my fate instead of one."

What do you call 500 lawyers at the bottom of the sea? A start.

You are stuck in a foxhole with a cobra, Saddam Hussein, a lawyer, and only two bullets in your gun. What do you do? Shoot the lawyer twice.

what do you get when you cross a LAWYER and a LIBRARIAN? All the information you want, but you can't understand it!

A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seeking defense. He didn't want to go to jail, but his lawyer told him, "Don't worry. You'll never have to go to jail with all that money." The lawyer was right. When the man was sent to prison, he didn't have a dime.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? A: The lawyer charges more.

What's the difference between a bad lawyer and a good lawyer? A bad lawyer can have a case drag on for several years. A good lawyer can make it last even longer.