A gazelle goes out for her usual afternoon walk. About an hour later, she realizes that she is lost out in the open. Unskilled in the ways of the real world, she asks a cheetah, "Excuse me sir, do you know what time it is?" With a grin, the cheetah said, "It's lunchtime."

Q: How do you shoot a yellow elephant? A: Have you ever seen a yellow elephant?

yo mama so hairy and fat, that when she went to a museum they yelled "the mammoth's alive!"

Yo Momma is so smelly that when she entered a pig sty, all the pigs had to evacuate...

Yo mama is so skinny Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with a cheerio Yo mama so skinny she has to wear a belt with spandex. Yo mama so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared.

A man was taking a walk around town one day and he passed a sign saying 'Talking dog for sale $5'. He thought it was a scam, but he went to see what was up anyway. When he got to the porch a dog came up to him. Deciding to be a smart aleck, he asked the dog if it could talk. The dog said, "Yes, I can. I am the one mentioned in the sign. You can go inside and talk to my owner if you want to buy me." The man asked, "How come you can talk?" The dog answered, "I was a secret CIA experiment. They altered my genes and I used to be a covert agent. I led to many gang busts and stopped a lot of assassination attempts. Once they learned I told my owner about the cases, they kicked me out and now I am stuck here." The man was in awe and went to talk to the dog's owner Bob. He asked why the dog was so cheap since he was in the CIA and Bob said, "Was he telling YOU that too?! He tells that to everybody. The reason he is so cheap is because I can't believe a word he says. He's a compulsive liar! The most exciting thing he has ever done is lick his own butt instead of the cat's for a change!"

If a fly can fly, can an elephant elephant?

What is red, black, has ten eyes, and crawls? I do not know but it is on your head.

Zack and his mule were walking down the road when one of Zack's friends drove up and offered him a ride to town. Zack got into the truck while his mule ran along behind. The mule was right in back of them as they reached 55, and stayed with them as they sped up to 70. "I'm worried about your mule," said the driver, "his tongue's hanging out." "Which way?" asked Zack. "Left," his friend said. "Well, stay in this lane - he's about to pass." shouted Zack.

A guy responds to a job position at the city zoo. The ad mentioned the salary but not what he would be doing. He soon learns that the zoo's gorilla had unexpectedly passed away. The zoo had just spent millions on promotions that focused on the gorilla, and now they needed a gorilla. The guy really needed the job and the money was good so he accepted. Every day, he would put on the gorilla suit, hang out in his cage, and be the gorilla. After a while, he started enjoying himself. He would scare little kids, roar at the crowds, and eat bananas. As time wore on, he became the main attraction at the zoo. He would swing on his trees and vines, and the people loved him. One particularly busy Saturday, he was swinging around and accidentally swung over his fence and landed in the lion's cage. The lion slowly opened his eyes and saw the gorilla. The lion began to talk. The lion, now drooling and wide awake, slowly approached the gorilla that was backed up against the fence. The lion was ready to jump. The gorilla started yelling, "Help! Help! I'm not a gorilla. I'm a man! Help, help!" Then the lion said, "Shut up, stupid, or we'll both get fired!"