It's a beautiful spring day and a man and his wife are at the zoo. She's got on a close-fitting, lowcut, pink summer dress with spaghetti straps. As they walk thru the ape exhibit, and pass in front of a very large gorilla, the gorilla goes ape. He jumps up on the bars, he grunts, he pounds his chest. He is obviously excited at the sight of the young lady in the sundress. The husband, noticing the apes excitement, suggests that his wife tease the ape. The husband suggests that she pucker her lips and wiggle her bottom. She does, and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead. Then her husband suggests that she let one of the straps of her dress slip down. She does and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear down the bars. Her husband suggests she lift her dress up her thighs and she does. This about drives Mr. Gorilla crazy. Then quickly the husband grabs his wife, rips open the door to the cage, flings her inside with the gorilla, slams the door shut, and gleefully rubbing his hands together, says: "Now, tell him you have a headache."

A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!" "So?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"

Did you hear about the woman who had sex with a donkey? Apparently she liked an ass.

1 How do you fit an elephant into your fridge within 3 steps? 2 How do you fit a zebra in your fridge? 3 King of the jungle , the lion every animal in the jungle will come to his wedding but one animal won't which one is it? 4 A man needs to get to the other side of a bridge desperately there are killer alligators that live in the river and there is no boat how do you get across?? 1. step 1- open the fridge. step 2- put elephant in the fridge. step 3- close the fridge. 2. step 1- open the fridge. step 2- take the elephant out. step 3- put the zebra in. step 4- close the fridge. 3. The zebra because it is in the fridge. 4. Swim because the alligators are at the wedding.

One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was reading two books: the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. Surprised, he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books?" "Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side! ************************************************************ Q: Why did the punk rock star cross the road? A: Because he was stapled to the chicken!

What do you call a chicken in a shell suit? An egg!

How can you tell an elephant from an ant? An ant is easier to pick up!

Why was the baby ant afraid of his uncles? Because his uncles were all ants!

Q: Why did the ant fall off the toilet bowl? A: He got pissed off.