Why don't politicians ever consider being gynocologists? They would have to deal with too much Bush every day!

George Bush to friend: Sorry I forgot your birthday. Dick Cheney forgot to put it on my to-do list.

Every village has its idiot. Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing theirs.

Why aren't dogs allowed in the White House? They might pee on the Bush!

At a party, a man came up to a stranger and asked "Have you heard the latest Bush joke?" The man replies, "I am Bush." The man said, "Oh. I'll tell it slowly."

G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you." She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" Tony Blair replies, "It's me!" and hangs up. G.W. Bush then calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you." So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" And Colin Powell says, "It's me!" So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell." And Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

President Bush looks up from his desk in the Oval Office to see one of his aides nervously approaching him. "What is it now?" sighs the president. "It's this abortion bill," replies the aide. "What do you want to do about it?" "Go ahead and pay it," says the president.

1. Bush/Cheney '04: We're Gooder! 2. Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no Child a Dime! 3. Bush/Cheney '04: Because the Truth Just isn't Good Enough. 4. Vote Bush in '04: It's a no-brainer! 5. Bush/Cheney '04: Compassionate Colonialism 6. Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no Billionaire Behind 7. Bush/Cheney '04: Putting the "con" in conservatism 8. Bush/Cheney '04: Thanks for not Paying Attention 9. Bush/Cheney '04: The Last Vote You'll Ever Have to Cast 10. Bush/Cheney '04: This Time, Elect Us! 11. Bush/Cheney '04: Four More Wars 12. Bush/Cheney '04: Asses of Evil 13. Bush/Cheney '04: Assimilate. Resistance is Futile 14. Bush/Cheney '04: Apocalypse Now! 15. Vote Bush in '04: Because Dictatorship is Easier 16. George W. Bush: A Brainwave away from the Presidency 17. George W. Bush: It Takes a Village Idiot 18. Don't Think. Vote Bush! 19. BU_ _SH_ _!

1. Wake up and stumble in the room 40 minutes late. 2. Blame all of the problems in America on 9/11 and Iraq. 3. Pronounce "nuclear" right. 4. Publish my dog's sequel. 5. Show off my awesome golf shot. Hey, I counted to five!

Good Ev'nin America! I, George Dubya Bush, confess that I wrote the Shakespeare plays. First of all, I'm very intellentifull. I didn't mean to confusinate you, but I'm just that smart. Do not misunderestimate me because I can't prononunce n-n-n-uclar -you know what I mean. Shakespeare was in my axis of evil, so I wrote the plays. I mean, who would write plays like "A Homedy of Terrors, Nothing to Say about Something, The Naming of my Poo, Porklet, and A Late Winter's Ice Cream?" I must also give credit to my Secretary of State, Donald Rumpelstiltskin for playing an interceptun on my fumble.