Bill Clinton and Al Gore went into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu, the waitress came over and asked Clinton, "Are you ready to order, sir?" Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie." "A quickie?!" the waitress replies with disgust. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life, I don't believe that's a good idea. I'll come back later when you are ready to make an order from the MENU." She walks away. Al Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "Sir, it's pronounced 'Quiche'"

Before his infamous haircut on the tarmac, Clinton asked his stylist Christophe, "How long will this take, how much will it cost, and how good will this look?" Christophe replied just ten minutes, cost $20, and look marvelous. An hour and fifteen minutes later, Clinton looked into the mirror in horror and Christophe handed him a bill for $200. Clinton gasped, "You took too long, it doesn't look that great, and it is costing me ten times more than you said!" Christophe replied, "That makes us even."

Bill & Hillary Clinton were sleeping at the White House. Hillary wakes up and starts shaking Bill to wake him up. "Bill, Bill wake up." Bill continues sleeping. Hillary shouts, "Bill, Bill wake up." Bill finally wakes up and says, "What do you want?" Hillary responds, "I have to go use the bathroom." Bill says, "Please tell me you didn't wake me up just to tell me you have to go to the bathroom." Hillary says, "No, I just wanted to tell you to save my spot."

The eight Saddam body doubles are gathered in one of the bunkers in downtown Baghdad. Tariq Aziz, the deputy prime minister, comes in and says, 'I have some good news and some bad news.' They ask for the good news first. Aziz says, 'The good news is that Saddam is still alive, so you all still have jobs.' 'And the bad news?' they ask. Aziz replies, 'He's lost an arm'.

One old bolshevik says to another: "No my friend, we will not live long enough to see communism, but our children... poor children."

Buck Fush

Seen on a bumper sticker: "IF CLINTON IS THE ANSWER, THEN IT MUST BE A STUPID QUESTION." Seen on another bumper sticker: "CLINTON HAPPENS."

At last. A bumper sticker for both parties. FINALLY, Someone has come out with a 100% bipartisan political bumper sticker. This hot selling bumper sticker comes from the great state of New York! "RUN HILLARY RUN" Democrats put it on the rear bumper. Republicans put it on the front bumper.

1/20/09: End of an Error That's OK, I Wasn't Using My Civil Liberties Anyway Let's Fix Democracy in This Country First If You Want a Nation Ruled By Religion, Move to Iran If You Can Read This, You're Not Our President Hey, Bush Supporters: Embarrassed Yet? George Bush: Creating the Terrorists Our Kids Will Have to Fight America: One Nation, Under Surveillance They Call Him "W" So He Can Spell It Whose God Do You Kill For? Cheney/Satan '08 Jail to the Chief No, Seriously, Why Did We Invade Iraq? Bush: God's Way of Proving Intelligent Design is Full Of Crap Bad President! No Banana. We Need a President Who's Fluent In At Least One Language We're Making Enemies Faster Than We Can Kill Them Is It Vietnam Yet? Bush Doesn't Care About White People, Either Where Are We Going? And Why Are We In This Handbasket? You Elected Him. You Deserve Him. Impeach Cheney First Dubya, Your Dad Shoulda Pulled Out, Too The Republican Party: Our Bridge to the 11th Century What Part of "Bush Lied" Don't You Understand? One Nation Under Clod 2004: Embarrassed. 2005: Horrified. 2006: Terrified. Bush Never Exhaled At Least Nixon Resigned

Every village has its idiot. Somewhere in Texas, a village is missing theirs.