There is a black man , and australian aborigine and a samoan in a car.Who is driving ???---- Police officer

There is a lot of talk about the United Nations creating a combined strike force with troops from several nations included in it. Could it work? Let's take a look at one operation. A combined force beach landing on a tropical island. When the troops hit the beach...

There's a captain and his crew, and they always won naval battles. One day, a sailor called out "Cap'! 10 ships approching!" The Captain replied "Get me my red shirt!" They did, he put it on, and they won the battle.Later, a sailor called "Cap'! 20 ships!" "Get me my red shirt!" They did, and they won after he wore itLater, 50 ships attacked, they got thier captain his red shirt, and they wonThen one day a sailor asked "Captain, why do you wear that red shirt?" "If I get shot and bleed, you won't see my blood and keep fighting for me" said the captainLater...Sailor: "Captain! 220000 ships!"Captain: "What!? Get me my brown pants!"

There was a blonde sitting on a plane in first class seats with an economy class ticket. The flight attendant asked to check her ticket.'Excuse me' she said 'you only have an economy class ticket but you are sitting in first class. Could you please move to your allocated seat.'The blonde was very stubborn and said 'Im blonde and beautiful and I'm going to New York.'So the flight attendant went to another flight attendant and told her the problem. Her answer was the same.'Im blonde and beautiful and Im going to new york.'This went on throught 4 other flight attendants.Finally they went to the captain and told him the problem.He said 'I can handle this' and went to talk to her.Hw whispered something in her ear and she got up and ran to economy class.All the flight attendatns were shocked and they asked him how he did it.He said 'I told her first class wasn't going to New York.'

There was an Englishman,Scottishman and an Irishman swimming in the sea one day when suddenly they were captured by pirates. The captain said to them "You're getting locked up in dungeons for 50 years, but I'll give you something to go in with. The Englishman says he wants to go in with booze, so he goes in with his booze.The Scotsman says he wants some women so he goes in with his women. Finally, the Irishman wants to go in with cigarettes, so he goes in with his cigarettes. Then 50 years later the Englishman comes out of his dungeon drunk, the Scotsman comes out with his women and kids and the Irishman comes out and says 'Got a light'?

There was a priest who was drowning in the ocean. He called out to God for help. All of a sudden, a canoe came and the guy said "Father, let me help you". The priest replied "No, no my son. The Lord will save me." The canoe leaves and the father calls out to God again. All of a sudden, a yacht showed up. The captain said "Father, let me help you". The priest again replied "No my son, the Lord will save me". The yacht leaves and the father is calling out to God again. All of a sudden, a big cruise ship showed up. The captain said with a megaphone "Father,let us help you". The priest again replied "No my son, the Lord will save me." The priest drowns and he's in heaven face to face with God. He said "My Lord. I called out to you but you didn't help me. Why?" God replied: "I did help you. I sent you three ships".

There was this Magician on a ship performing every night. Not noticing, the captains parrot watches him every night as he performs the same tricks. After watching him, the parrot finds out how he does it and started to tell the audience. After the parrot told the audience, the ship hit an iceberg and started to sink. Everyone ran to the life boats. It so happen that the Magician went overboard and managed to hold one a flat piece of board that the parrot was on. After three days of staring at each other the parrot finally says "Ok, what did you do with the ship?"

These are actual lines out of OER (Officer Efficiency Report) performance appraisal for the military.

The soldiers are tired and lonely after spending weeks in enemy territory. To entertain them, the Major called for this sexy dancer from the nearby town. She came, danced and when the first dance was done, the soldiers went mad. They clapped for 5 minutes. For her second number, she stripped and danced in sheer bra and G string. This time the applause went for 10 minutes. The next number she danced topless, and this time the applause went on and on. The Major had to come on stage and ask them to quiet down for the grand finale. For her last number, she was to strip completely and dance naked. The Major expected the soldiers to make enough noise to bring the roof down. But ten minutes later, there is no clapping and the dancer comes backstage. The Major asks her, "What happened? How come there was no clapping this time?" She replied with a wicked smile, "Major, how do you expect those poor boys to clap with one hand?"

The young Ensign approached the crusty old Chief and asked him about the origin of the commissioned office insignias. "Well, Ensign, it's history and tradition. First, we give you a gold bar representing that you're valuable BUT malleable. The silver bar of a Lieutenant Junior Grade represents value, but less malleable. When you make Lieutenant, you're twice as valuable so we give you two silver bars. "As a Captain, you soar over military masses, hence the eagle. As an Admiral, you're obviously a star. That answer your question?" "Yeah, but what about Commanders and Lieutenant Commanders?" "Now that goes waaaaaay back in history. Back to the Garden of Eden even. You see, we've always covered our pricks with leaves... "