You might be a redneck if... The idea for the Budweiser frogs came from listening to you and your friends trying to read the label on the bottle.

You might be a redneck if... You have ever had to get up quickly in the morning in order to let the goat out before she dropped raisins on the kitchen floor.

Why do the Arkansas cheerleaders wear bibs? To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.

One day there were two men walking down a dirt path. One of them had a big potato sack over his shoulder. The other decided to ask what was in the sack. When he asked, the man said, "I got me some chickens for dinner tonight. Mmm Mmm Mmm... Chicken sure sounds good tonight." The other one wanted to know how many chickens were in the sack. "Well, I'll tell you," replied the man, "If you can guess how many chickens I've got in this here sack I'll give them both to you."

This is a collection of a few of the Redneck lines I've heard (and can remember) over the years . . . You know you're a redneck when: You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. Your wife weighs more than your refrigerator. Your shopping list only has beer on it. The biggest fashion risk you take is which plaid you'll wear to the 4-H Fair. You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard. You move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it has turned yellow. You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift. You mow your lawn and find a car. Your "pet" eats more than you. You can spit without opening your mouth. You refer to sixth grade as "your senior year". You refer Chuck Norris as: God, Santa Claus, and the Harvest Man.

Managed to remember some MORE Redneck lines while hearing a couple more. You know you're a redneck when: You lost your virginity at the age of 11. You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut. Taking a dip has nothing to do with water. There are more than ten lawsuits currently pending against your dog. You take a fishing pole to Sea World. The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car. Your TV is a bag of manure on fire. Your "family reunion" was at the NRA convention. Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap. You've shot somebody over a mall parking space. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. Making a chocolate cake has nothing to do with chocolate. You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

Got some more Redneck lines . . . You know you're a Redneck when: More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. The receptionist checks the rat traps at your place of business. You think the stock market has a fence around it. Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night involves putting on shoes and a jacket and grabbing a flashlight. You have a Ku Klux Klan uniform somewhere in your trailer. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. Your amount of children is more than the amount of Oompa Loompas in Willy Wonka's factory. Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs. Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool. You keep a can of DDT on the kitchen table. You've smashed a computer once, claiming it was a "scary robot from the future". You've used a toilet seat as a picture frame. You own a homemade fur coat. Your Christmas tree is still up in February. You've totaled every car you've ever owned. You've ever been arrested for loitering. There is a stuffed possum anywhere in your house. You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice. You've ever shot anyone for looking at you. Your momma has "ammo" on her Christmas list. You think that potted meat on a saltine is an hors d'ouvre. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. You've mistaken your wife for a bear. You've attended a shotgun wedding.

DEAR REDNECK SON, I'm writing this letter slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last Arkansas family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well though. Last week I put a load in and pulled the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week, the first time for three days and the second time for four days. About that coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Stanley said it would be to heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle. The baby looks just like your brother. Uncle Ted fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off playfully and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends ran off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened. Love, Mom P. S. I was going to send you some money, but the envelope was already sealed.

Dear son, Im writing this slow cause i know you cant read fast. Your pop read that all accidents happen within 20 miles of home so we moved. Can't send you the address as the last arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them so they wouldnt have to change their address. That coat you wanted, aunt billy-mae said it was too heavy with them buttons, so we took them off and put them in the pockets. Your sister had a baby yester morn. Don't know if its a boy or girl so dont know if youre an aunt or uncle. Three of your friends went off the bridge last week. One was drivig the other two were in the back. The driver lived, he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned, they coulnt get the talegate down. Please write back. It you dont get this letter, let me know and i will send another one. Love, ma

Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address. This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since. It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time. The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes. About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or girls so don 't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle. Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tailgate down. Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.Love, Ma