You might be redneck if you've totaled every car you've owned.

Where is the safest place to hide money from a redneck? In his work boots! How can you tell a redneck has been in your backyard? Your bike is gone and the dog is pregnant!!

You might be a redneck if you answer to more than one nickname.

You might be a redneck if you have orange road cones in your living room!

You might be a redneck if your toenail clippers say craftsman on the side!

You might be a redneck if you've never stayed in a hotel without stealing something

You might be a redneck if you've ever videotaped a dog loving on someone's leg.

You know you're a redneck if your fence doubles as your clothesline

"If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call 'em biscuits."

You might be a redneck if..... you went weeks without food or shelter just so you could have front row seats to a Brooks-n'-Dunn concert.