An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied, "Only a little while." The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more fish?" The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs." The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?" The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life." The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor; Eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York where you will run your ever-expanding enterprise." The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?" To which the American replied, "15 to 20 years." "But what then?" asked the Mexican. The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions." "Millions?...Then what?" The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

A nerdy-looking fellow shuffled timidly into the sales manager's office. "I don't suppose you want to buy any life insurance?" he asked hesitantly. "No, I don't." "That's what I figured. Well, thanks anyway." And he turned and made gratefully for the door. "Hang on a sec, young man," the executive called out. "You know, I've worked with salespeople all my life, and I have to say that was the most pathetic sales pitch I've ever encountered. You have to have confidence, my boy. Shoulders back, look the customer in the eye, believe in yourself! In fact, just to give you a little boost, I'll give you a sale right now. Write me up for that policy after all." "Thank you, sir, ever so much," said the salesman gratefully, presenting him with the papers. The sales manager signed with a flourish. "And now that you're feeling more confident, you should learn some tricks of the trade." "Quite right sir, good idea," said the salesman, grinning; "Always useful. Actually, the one I used just now is for sales managers."

Are you overworked, under paid, over-regulated, under-leisured, and underbenefited? Take heart! Not only could it be worse, it has been. This notice was found in the ruins of a London office building. It was dated 1852:

A woman walked up to the manager of a department store. "Are you hiring any help?" she asked. "No," he said. "We already have all the staff we need." "Then would you mind getting someone to assist me?" she asked.

A young engineer was leaving the office at 6 pm when he found the CEO standing in front of the paper shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is important, my secretary has left for the day. Can you make this thing work?" "Certainly," said the young engineer. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappered inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work.The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store.""But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly."Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how."

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store.""But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly."Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom - I'll show you how."

A young man was walking through a super-market to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him. "Excuse me," he said. "Can I help you?" "Oh, Pardon me," the old woman replied. "I'm sorry if my staring has made you uncomfortable. But you look just like my son. He died recently and I never got to say goodbye." "I'm very sorry," replied the young man. "Is there anything I can do for you?" "Yes," she said, "as I'm leaving, would you say 'Goodbye, mother?' It would make me feel so much better." "Sure," answered the young man. As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!" Then, as he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was nearly $200. "How can that be?" he asked. "I only purchased a few things!" The clerk replied, "Your mother said you'd pay for her."

Dear Sir or Madam; While working with Mr. Smith, I have always found him working studiously and sincerely at his table without idling or gossiping with colleagues in the office. He seldom wastes his time on useless things. Given a job, he always finishes the given assignment in time. He is always deeply engrossed in his official work, and can never be found chitchatting in the canteen. He has absolutely no vanity in spite of his high accomplishment and profound knowledge of his field. I think he can easily be classed as outstanding, and should on no account be dispensed with. I strongly feel that Mr. Smith should be pushed to accept promotion, and a proposal to administration be sent away as soon as possible. Mr. Jones Director of Personnel ----------------------------------------------------------------- A yellow post-it was stuck to the letter. SMITH WAS PRESENT WHEN I WAS WRITING THE REPORT MAILED TO YOU TODAY. READ ONLY THE ALTERNATIVE LINES 1,3,5,7 AND SO ON FOR MY TRUE ASSESSMENT OF HIM. JONES

Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees may express their diversity. Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins. Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday's wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success. A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. Fashion show to follow. Attendance is mandatory. As an outgrowth of Friday's seminar, the Committee On Committee's has appointed a 14-member Casual Day Task Force to prepare guidelines for proper dress. The Casual Day Task Force has completed a 30-page manual. A copy of "Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards" has been mailed to each employee. Please review the chapter "You Are What You Wear" and consult the "home casual" versus "business casual" checklist before leaving for work each Friday. If you have doubts about the appropriateness of an item of clothing, contact your CDTF representative before 7 a.m. on Friday. Because of lack of participation, Casual Day has been discontinued, effective immediately.