How many drummers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 5... 1 to try and fail, 3 to stand around and pretend to be musicians, and 1 to actually do it right. How many trumpet players does it take to screw in a light bulb? 3... 1 to do it, and 2 to say they can do it better. How many tuba players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2... 1 to crush the lightbulb, and the other to fight about it.