Customer: "I have a big problem. You cut off my head!" Me: "I'm sorry? How did I cut off your head?" (The customer shows me an obviously self-taken picture, with the top of his head removed.) Me: "Sir, it looks like it was taken that way." Customer: "No it wasn't! My whole head was there when I took it. I'm sure!" Me: "Okay, let me see your memory card..." (The customer hands it to me, and I go in the lab and pull it up on the computer. Sure enough, he chopped his own head off in the picture.) Me: "Sir, that is the whole image, and the top of your head isn't in it." Customer: "But it's DIGITAL, can't you fix it?" Me: "You can't create something from nothing." Customer: "But... but... but... I need a photo for a dating website!" Me: "Give me the camera and go stand over there." Customer: *excited* "Hot d***! You can be my best man!" Me: "A thank you card will be enough." (Skip ahead 9 months...) Female customer: "Is your name ***?" Me: "Yes, can I help you?" Female customer: "My husband wanted you to have this." *hands me an envelope* (I open the envelope, and sure enough there's a thank you card with a picture of him and his wife. He actually got married and sent her in with the card!)