Q: Why did Kobe Bryant buy a dictionary?A: To figure out what part of "no" he doesn't understand. Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so confident that he'll rebound well after this scandal?A: Because he'll be the tallest player on the prison team. Q: Why is Kobe Bryant stacking money in his backyard?A: To practice jumping bail. Q: Why has Kobe Bryant started smoking a little pot?A: To help him prepare for the Big Joint. Q: Why does Kobe wear goggles during sex?A: To keep the mace out of his eyes. Q: What do Gigli and Kobe Bryant have in common?A: Both leave people in tears feeling screwed. Q: Who's the head lawyer on Kobe's legal team?A: The one with dirt on his knees. Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so worried about jury prejudice during his trial?A: Cuz no one likes a rapist. Q: How is Kobe Bryant spending his free time this summer?A: By adding a second bedroom to the dog house. Q: Why did Kobe add the letter "O" to his bracelet?A: So it would stand for: "What Would O.J. Do?". Q: Why did Kobe buy his wife such a huge diamond?A: Because the weight of it slows down her punches. Q: What did Shaq say when he heard of Kobe's marital infidelity?A: Kobe making a pass? She must be lying. Q: What did President Bush say when he heard that Sprite might drop Kobe?A: "Who cares, I'm a coke man myself."