Dear Santa,I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all yer.Yer Frend,BiLLy Dear Billy,Nice spelling. You're on your way to being a career lawn carespecialist. How 'bout I send you a damn book so you can learn to read andwrite? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!Santa******Dear Santa,I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drumkit, pony, and a tuba.Love,Francis Dear Francis,Who names their kid 'Francis' nowadays? What a wussie name.Santa******* Dear Santa,I really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE TimmyTimmy,That whiney begging crap may work with your folks, but that crap don't work up here. You're getting a sweater again.Santa*******Dearest Santa,We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get in to our home?Love,MarkyMark,First, stop calling yourself 'Marky.' That's why you're getting your butt whipped at school. Secondly, you don't live in a house, that's a low-rent apartment complex you're living in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your bedroom window. Sweet dreams!Santa******Dear Santa,I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots foryour reindeer outside the backdoor.Love,SusanDear Susan,Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the reindeer fart in my face. You want to be a weasel? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal.Santa******Dear Santa,I've written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please,I really, really want a fire truck this year.Love,JoeyDear Joey,Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I'm gonna torch your house. You'll have more fire trucks than you'll know what to do with.Santa